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Provide Care

We typically describe a Community Group as an environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.  Authentic community is characterized as a place where group members find accountability, belonging and care.  From these definitions, we can see that providing care is a key element of the community group experience.  At Cove Church, we are so convinced of the importance of care in the Community Group setting that we have made Provide Care one of our Six Leader Essentials.  This essential reminds leaders that the primary way we provide care to our attendees is through Community Groups.

Why should we provide care?

Scripture is clear that from the early days of the church, Christians have been called by God to care for one another. In Galatians 6:2, Paul exhorts the believers saying, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  Acts 2:45 tells of the early Christians giving “to anyone as he had need.”  It is just the nature of the Body of Christ that members of the body support and care for one another.

Providing care is also a substantial means to developing deeper relationships.  Relationships are build on a foundation of shared experience, and the more intense those experiences, the tighter the bonds of relationship can grow.  There’s something about sharing the highest highs and lowest lows of life that just naturally builds intimacy.

Finally, caring for one another provides a powerful witness of Christ’s love to a watching world.  One new community group member described her reason for joining a group this way.

“I had heard my neighbor talk about her small group for years.  She had invited me to join in the past, but I didn’t really consider myself religious and wasn’t really interested.  But when she was put on bed-rest for the last two months of her pregnancy, I noticed that someone was dropping off a meal for her family almost every day.  She told me that between her last two small groups, they provided enough meals that she didn’t have to worry about cooking from her seventh month until the baby was six weeks old.  Now that left an impression on me.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about Bible study, but that kind of community was something I couldn’t turn down.”

When we operate as the Body of Christ by caring for one another in this way, it demonstrates the kind of love that outsiders find attractive, regardless of their preconceived notions about Christians.

What is the group’s role?

Small groups are very well suited to provide care, but sometimes group members may be unsure of just how to do so.  Here are some specific ways that group members can care for each other:

  • Be aware
Pay attention to what group members say and how they act.  This will help you be  aware of and sensitive to group members who are going through difficult situations.  Try to discern their needs and meet those needs as much as possible.
  • Engage
Group members need to take time to build relationships and be involved in each other’s lives regularly so that they can recognize when someone is having a difficult time.  As group members engage each other, they will build relational capital, develop influence in each other’s lives, gain the motivation to act on concerns, and understand the background to know how to best approach one another.
  • Be available
Walk with them through the difficult season.  Have a posture of availability.  At times it may even be necessary to initiate conversation with a group member who is hurting but doesn’t feel comfortable bringing things up in the larger group setting.
  • Accept
Help promote an accepting environment where issues can safely surface.  When group members share their care needs, make sure that your response communicates acceptance rather than judgment.
  • Pray
While the importance of prayer may seem self-evident, it can be easy for group members to shift into problem-solving or counseling mode when care situations arise rather than trust God to meet our needs.  Prayer also creates opportunities to draw group members’ attention to God, whether the care situation is one of heartbreak or of celebration.
  • Confront
Sometimes care situations arise because of unwise or even sinful attitudes and actions on the part of the group member.  At times it may be necessary to confront him or her and point them to God’s truth. 
  • Provide accountability
The resolutions of many care situations require behavior or attitude changes.  While these life changes are driven by the Holy Spirit, small groups can provide the accountability that will support and reinforce them.  When people have made enough relational deposits in each other, they are able to ask each other difficult or challenging questions without damaging relationships.  Accountability works best when it’s a two-way street.  That is, group members must not only give accountability, but be willing to accept it as well.
  • Celebrate
We tend to think that providing care is solely about helping group members through difficult situations, but in truth providing care often involves celebrating successes and exciting developments.  It’s important to support each other not only through challenges, but through victories as well.

Not only will the group members be able to act as the “hands and feet” of God in caring for each other, but care situations often present an opportunity for God to develop those providing care by using their spiritual gifts, talents, and strengths to meet the needs of those in the group/

What is the leader’s role?

While it’s role of the entire group to provide care, it largely depends on the group leader to make this happen.  This is why we’ve made Provide Care one of our Six Leader Essentials.  The group leader plays a vital role in guiding the group’s efforts to provide care.  The leader is responsible for setting the stage for care to happen, leading the way, and protecting the group.

Setting the stage

The group leader creates an environment that is conducive to providing care by establishing a safe place where members can be vulnerable and share their needs.  The leader also casts vision for the Community Group caring for each other’s needs.  The leader needs to be aware of when someone in the group is going through something significant and should ask questions that will encourage members to talk about what they’re going through.  Similarly, the leader needs to recognize when someone has taken a risk and shared something deep or private and respond appropriately.  He or she needs to be sensitive or discerning as to when they should put down the curriculum and encourage the group to focus on the member who is struggling.

Leading the way

Most groups have several people who are experiencing authentic community for the first time, and they may feel hesitant to share their needs.  The leader may need to model vulnerability and a willingness to ask for help.  The leader may also need to initiate the provision of care when they see a need or mobilize the group to action.  And when there’s a success, a victory, or an answer to prayer, the group leader should lead the way in celebrating these moments.  In each of the roles that the group plays in providing care, the group leader models and initiates these steps.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that the leader has to be the best or most natural in all or any of these areas.  Leaders may need to “lean into” the strengths and spiritual gifts of others in their groups, but it is the responsibility of the leader to initiate action.

Protecting the group

Care situations present an opportunity for the group to grow closer as group members support each other and meet needs, but they also have the potential to seriously damage the group and undermine the group experience.  Care situations can easily come to dominate the group’s discussion and prayer times.  And because these situations tend to be emotionally charged, it can be difficult for the group leader to know how to balance the needs of the individual with the needs of the group.  Basically, the leader is responsible for guarding the group’s health by monitoring the group dynamics and taking steps to redirect the group when necessary.  Because over time a small group can lose focus and begin to morph into a therapy session or a support group.  When one person’s or one couples issues consistently dominate the group, the others in the group will start to tune them out, or even begin to resent them.  When the leader notices that the group dynamics are changing for the worse, it is incumbent on him or her to step in and direct the group back toward the true purposes and goals of the small group.

While the three categories above encapsulate most of the leader’s responsibilities when it comes to Provide Care, there are some other areas where the leader may need to act as well.

  • The group leader serves as a connecting point, between one group member and another or between the group member and the church’s Care Ministry.
  • The group leader can help discern when the group can provide the needed care and when to refer the group members to seek out professional help.  How can the group leader determine when professional help is needed?  Professional help may be needed when:
    • The issue at hand is beyond the knowledge or experience of the group leader and group members.
    • The advice given isn’t working.
    • The struggling member doesn’t trust or believe the group’s counsel.

Leaders should also seek counsel from their c-Group Coach to help them navigate these issues.

Ultimately, we believe that in most situations, the small group is the best environment for group members to receive care, because those are the people who have the most context, influence, and motivation to provide care.  That’s why we encourage the small group to “carry the ball” as far as possible, then call in professional help when the group can no longer help.

 

Adapted from North Point Community Church, Atlanta GA