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Think Life Change

A resource for Community Group leaders

Cove Church's mission... helping people to Discover a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and Develop and Demonstrate a Christ-like lifestyle...is at its core, about life change. That is why is our Develop strategy is oriented around small groups. We believe that life change happens best in the context of small groups. This is also why one of our six Leader Essentials, the irreducible minimums that we want all of our small group leaders to embrace, is “Think Life Change.” In fact, most of the other Leader Essentials focus on setting the stage for life change.

Why Life Change?

Why are we so concerned about life change? Can’t we just let people be who they are? Throughout the Bible, we see that God is in the business of changing lives. Whenever God claims a person, family, or nation as his own, he immediately begins to initiate change in their attitudes, beliefs, and behavior. He begins to transform them into people who are more like himself. The reality is that the status quo is a myth. We are always changing; each decision we make will either move us closer to Christ or take us further away from him. That brings us to the next question.

What is life change?

It is tempting to think of life change in terms of behavior or circumstances, because significant changes in behavior can be the most visible sign that life change is occurring. But the kind of life change we hope to facilitate, where people are becoming more like Christ, cannot be reduced merely to outward behavior. True life change is characterized by relational connection or spiritual growth. Godly life change begins internally with changes like:

  • Placing trust in God’s faithfulness in spite of discouraging or confusing circumstances;
  • Desiring physical and mental purity;
  • Gaining an eternal perspective on one’s time, talents, and resources;
  • Prioritizing the truth of God’s word in making decisions;
  • Growing in unconditional love for other people;
  • Developing a forgiving and compassionate heart.

While these internal changes will often result in visible changes in behavior patterns, we must recognize that the external changes may be subtle, or even unnoticeable in the short term. In addition, internal change is more important than external change. A person may be motivated and able to make certain changes in their behavior in order to gain a favorable outcome; however, behavioral change without heart change does not of itself bring a person closer to God, which is the ultimate goal. And surface-level change without internal change is often temporary, with the person reverting to old ways once the desired outcome is achieved or found to be unachievable. Likewise, it’s important to distinguish between life-changing circumstances and life change. Having a baby or changing jobs may be life-changing—that is, a major change in circumstances may alter a person’s routine or priorities—but may not necessarily result in becoming more like Christ.

Remember, too, that life change often happens incrementally. Likewise, there may be multiple steps of life change that precede becoming a Christian. For the person who starts out antagonistic toward God, moving to a place where they are merely skeptical may represent significant life change. Any movement on the continuum of faith that moves a person closer to a growing relationship with Christ is a good thing. God may not use your group to cause someone to become a Christian, but he may use you to further their spiritual growth.

Why do leaders need to “think life change?”

For a Christian, thinking life change is not optional. Obedience to the two greatest commandments—to love God and to love our neighbors—requires that we prioritize life change. As we said before, God is in the business of changing lives; if we are to follow him, then we must also be about the business of changing lives.

At the local level, thinking life change is a key element of partnering with the church, but that mission cannot be accomplished solely through the preaching of the pastor. The reason we say that life change happens best in the context of small groups is that many people in today’s culture are unwilling to embrace new truth unless they can see that it “works.” Exposure to a predictable environment where they can experience authentic community provides a fertile testing ground for people to try out God’s truth for themselves and see it in action in the lives of group members.

In short, this “doing life together” provides the best reinforcement for the Biblical teaching that they receive in church—if the group leader is thinking life change. Leaders who are intentional about prioritizing life change will keep that ultimate goal in mind as they guide the group’s development and navigate the challenges that inevitably arise.

How does a leader “Think Life Change”

We have identified four key ways that a leader can put “Think Life Change” into practice. While this is not an exhaustive list, we think that this will help you identify concrete steps that you can take that will help set the stage for God to change lives through your small group.

Cast Vision
Casting vision can sound a bit lofty or ethereal, but it's really about painting a picture for your group members of what God can do in your lives through your small group. Here are two simple ways to do this.

  • Use the Covenant
    • Discuss it during the group’s infancy. The Covenant can help you explain the purpose of small groups.
    • Revisit the Covenant down the road. This evaluation can help you diagnose when your group is getting off track, and can help you redirect the group’s momentum.
  • Ask good questions
    • Purposeful, insightful questions can trigger meaningful conversations that serve as a catalyst for spiritual growth.
    • The questions you ask reveal what you value. Do the questions you ask communicate the value of spiritual growth and life change?

Create the Environment
As the leader, you have the opportunity to create an environment that is conducive to God doing what only He can do. Here are two practical ways to do this:

  • Strike a good balance between seeking truth and developing relationships.
    • Both of these elements plays a valuable part in the development that happens in a small group; focusing primarily on one to the exclusion of the other will stunt your group’s development.
    • All groups have a tendency over time to migrate toward one or the other. As leader, it’s your responsibility to guide your group toward balance.
  • Choose your curriculum strategically.
    • Choose studies purposefully. Pay attention to what issues surface in your discussion, this can guide you to what your group might want to study next.
    • Make sure that your group gives attention to each of the three Vital Relationships; don’t just get stuck on Intimacy with God. (GroupCurriculum.org is a great resource for finding curriculum; you can even search by Vital Relationship.)

Identify Life Change
Because life change can be subtle, it can be easy to miss when it’s happening. Here are some ways to identify life change:

  • Be intentional about watching for life change.
    • Watch not only for changes in behavior, but for changes in attitudes and priorities that may signal that people are beginning to view things more through the grid of God’s truth.
  • Pay attention to prayer requests and answers to prayer.
    • People’s prayer requests often point to areas where God is working in their hearts.

Celebrate the Steps
The things that we value are the things that we celebrate. So it’s important that when we do recognize life change, we need take time to celebrate.

  • Don’t let opportunities to celebrate pass by.
    • When you notice that someone is starting to view their circumstances, attitudes and actions through the lens of scripture, stop and take the time to affirm the change that has occurred.
  • Celebrate one-on-one.
    • Sometimes it’s best not to call attention to life change in front of the entire group, but you can still celebrate in a more private setting.
    • Go to lunch one on one and encourage the person about what you’ve seen God do in their lives, or perhaps take the time to write them a personal note.

By putting these ideas into practice, you can set the stage for God to do some incredible work in the lives of your group members, and you can help them recognize it when God is changing their lives. But it’s important to recognize that it is not you or the group who is doing the changing; while you may play an important part in God’s sanctifying work in people’s lives, only the Holy Spirit can work in people’s hearts. The good news is that Scripture is clear that God is committed to doing his part.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”
—Philippians 1:6

Thank you for Thinking Life Change, and for partnering with us in doing our part—creating a small group environment that will help lead people into growing relationships with Jesus Christ.

Adapted from North Point Community Church, Atlanta GA